5 Lessons I Learned as a Military Spouse

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Being a military spouse isn’t for the faint of heart. I know what you’re thinking, “you signed up for that,” or “suck it up buttercup.” I’m not here to complain or gain sympathy from anyone. I just wanted to write about how much more stronger and independent I am being affiliated with the military.

1. I learned to be unselfish. 

Looking back I now admit that I wasn’t the most mature individual when we got married. I was 21 years old, couldn’t fry chicken cutlets, or didn’t know how to properly clean the house. You’re probably thinking how the hell did you get married? You’re not wifey material — lol. I was very selfish and wanted things to go my way. My poor husband would do sweet things for me and I would be a brat because he took too long to do something or didn’t get my way. I’m honestly surprised he stuck around (I love you)!

Over the years of our marriage, after several deployments, and unaccompanied orders, I’ve come to realize that you need to be unselfish. I’ve run around getting our PPM move ready, handled insurance problems, running the kids around to doctors appointments, sports, taking care of things at the bank, anything you name it. I’m honestly a hot mess right now with everything that is going on but I chose to be unselfish and help him. We are a team. He is currently out there training to become an even better Marine and stressed because he’s away from his family. I chose to be unselfish and get on my hands and knees to scrub the grout because it’ll help our move next month go that much faster. I’ve even mastered the lawn mower!

2. Adapt and overcome.

Yes, adapting and overcoming things I didn’t think I would ever do…. like mowing the lawn. I’ve never mowed the lawn, EVER. We were looking at paying someone to do it but honestly why not save money and just mow it myself? I plucked our little Jaxson, stuck him in my Ergobaby carrier and did the damn thing while my oldest ran around the garage like a crazy person. I think it took me a good 45 minutes to an hour the first time but now I’ve got it down to science. Should only take me 30 minutes to mow the lawn. I’ve even had a woman driving by call me a “Super-Star.”


via GIPHY

3. Take charge. 

This is a trait that I learned the hard way. With the merge of Tricare South to Tricare East some things have gotten a little wonky with our insurance claims. I was being billed for services that we have a referral for AND we are Tricare Prime — which means no copays. I thought I had handled everything but I got slapped in the face with a bill that was close to going to collections — YIKES. I did everything right, I called and notified the hospitals that Tricare is backed up because of the merge and it could take 30 days to reprocess, had a conference call, etc. However I didn’t take the initiative and call to make sure that everything was still on hold until Tricare reprocessed everything. This taught me to TAKE CHARGE and make sure everything is taken care of! Follow up and don’t assume everything is all fine and dandy.

4. Friends come and go.

via GIPHY

This one is tough. You travel all over the world, you get to see many countries and cultures that most people can only dream of. With that, you have to make new friends every 3 to 4 years, leave your family behind, and your home. Being a military family is rough. This is one thing my oldest son JJ had to learn, we’ve had two really good friends leave within the last couple years. It broke my heart to see him cry because I get it, I’ve been there. I grew up moving all the time too, always the new kid. Even now at 30 years old I make new friends or lose them. You do your best to keep in touch and it’s usually with the ones that you have a really great bond with. There are some that don’t write or text me anymore or forget my son’s birthday, but that’s okay. I’ve learned that friends come and go, it’s a part of life.

5. Be appreciative.

I really appreciate everything that my husband does for me and for our family. He works hard, kicks ass, every single day. It definitely shows! He’s currently finishing up training after being promoted to Warrant Officer. With that success also comes sacrifice. He’s had to miss many birthdays, anniversaries, Holidays, first steps, first words, etc. I really, REALLY appreciate how hard he works. Again that is why I want to be unselfish and help him as much as possible here at home base. Do whatever I can to make this PCS move go smoothly. He busts his butt to ensure that we have everything that we need. 

These are just a few lessons I have learned from being a military spouse and I’m sure there will be more. We’ve been together for almost 10 years and he always tells me the same thing, that he’s going to stay in the Marine Corps until he’s old and crusty.

Thank you for reading!

August 10, 2018
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No comments

  • Reply Tamalyn

    You are most definitely a SUPER STAR!! I like to say my life is perfectly imperfect and I'm totally fine with it. We are always growing and learning and becoming better versions of ourselves and that is what matter! We are military as well and it seems as soon as I get used to a life somewhere, UP we go again moving somewhere else far away from familiar home and friends! But that's okay, cause the trade off is calling places we've only dreamed of going to our new home and making more friends!

    Hope you have a great weekend!!

    August 10, 2018 at 1:38 pm
  • Reply To Be The Perfect Mother

    ( I learned to be unselfish)
    I didn't join any military service, but motherhood learned me to be unselfish. Great post!

    August 10, 2018 at 1:38 pm
  • Reply Sarah-Louise Bailey

    These are some wonderful lessons to have learnt. Being unselfish can be a hard one, as I think to a degree we all want to put ourselves first.

    August 10, 2018 at 1:38 pm
  • Reply Jessica Martin

    I agree that you are a super star. I think military spouses are some of the strongest people I know. I'm grateful for our military, but also for the military spouses. Thank you for sharing a bit of what it is like to be a military spouse. Tell your husband thank you for his service.

    August 10, 2018 at 7:26 pm
  • Reply Angela Tolsma

    I think we all are a bit selfish at 21. The big difference is you figured it out and made the decision to be better. The friends come and go is what I struggle with the most, but it's life!

    August 10, 2018 at 7:26 pm
  • Reply Christa Anne

    Having friendships come and go is a difficult lesson as an adult, I can’t imagine having to help a young child through the same experiences. Thank you for the sacrifices your family makes.

    August 10, 2018 at 7:26 pm
  • Reply Dennis Littley

    I think perhaps other military spouses will enjoy this and see they are not alone in this.

    August 10, 2018 at 7:26 pm
  • Reply Patience Consistency

    I could only imagine how hard it must be to be a military spouse! It sounds like you've learned so many valuable lessons from it.

    August 10, 2018 at 7:26 pm
  • Reply Andrea Broom

    Wow you really have learned a lot of powerful and important lessons. My best friend is a military spouse and I am sure she would agree with you on a lot of these.

    August 10, 2018 at 7:26 pm
  • Reply Kate Loves Travel

    You've obviously learnt some valuable lessons… lessons that everyone needs to learn, military spouse or not!

    August 10, 2018 at 7:26 pm
  • Reply Cara Owens

    Love this post! I can definitely relate as the first 3 years of our marriage my husband was in the Navy and stationed overseas. It can be tough but military wives are resilient and it teaches you really quick how to grow up, I think.

    August 10, 2018 at 7:26 pm
  • Reply Nicole Gilbert

    Yes girl, yesssss! Being a military spouse myself, you mature at a different rate than your peers. I was married with kids before most of my peers had even met their partners. I can change a tire, install a toilet, etc all by myself. And I didn’t learn cuz I felt like it. I learned because I HAD TO!

    August 11, 2018 at 1:35 am
  • Reply Truly Madly Sassy

    I haven't ever experienced being a military wife, but my friend Kelly has been going through that for years. I know she's felt like friends definitely come and go, but then she's always relocating here and there. Thanks for giving us some insight into what it's like to be the wife of a military man! (K. McAllister)

    August 11, 2018 at 1:35 am
  • Reply Christina Holmes

    I love this! this is so intriguing and interesting.

    August 11, 2018 at 1:35 am
  • Reply Mom Knows Best

    I think adapting is a big one. My son just started the Merchant Marine academy and I am learning to be prepared for anything.

    August 11, 2018 at 1:35 am
  • Reply Janine

    Such great, hard lessons to learn. I have great respect for those who are married to someone in the military.

    August 11, 2018 at 1:35 am
  • Reply Yin Chan

    You're indeed a super star. To learn to be unselfish is not so easy cuz everyone is selfish in one way or another but you're a true gem to intentionally overcome this human weakness. Hugs!

    August 11, 2018 at 1:35 am
  • Reply Emma Riley

    I am not a military spouse but because I am mother I learned to be unselfish in many ways, adapted and overcome things that I thought that I can't.

    August 11, 2018 at 3:43 am
  • Reply Stephanie

    So many of these lessons can be applied to all aspects of life, but especially becoming a parent. I was married at 24 and had my oldest at 25 and did a lot of growing up at the time. Even though I am not a military spouse, my parents, especially my dad, raised me to be an independent woman.

    August 11, 2018 at 3:43 am
  • Reply JaxsonsMomJennie

    Thank you <3

    August 11, 2018 at 3:30 pm
  • Reply JaxsonsMomJennie

    Awww, thank you Tamalyn! <3 My husband always jokes that when he retires I'm going to be working on my career and be his sugar momma. Haha. 🙂 You keep killing it too!
    Have a great weekend!

    August 11, 2018 at 3:47 pm
  • Reply JaxsonsMomJennie

    Thank you Sarah-Louise! <3

    August 11, 2018 at 3:47 pm
  • Reply JaxsonsMomJennie

    Thank you Kate, it is definitely a lesson everyone should learn 🙂

    August 11, 2018 at 3:47 pm
  • Reply JaxsonsMomJennie

    Thank you Andrea! <3

    August 11, 2018 at 3:48 pm
  • Reply JaxsonsMomJennie

    Thank you Cara! Yes, we definitely learned to grow up a lot faster then some! <3

    August 11, 2018 at 3:49 pm
  • Reply JaxsonsMomJennie

    Thank you! <3

    August 11, 2018 at 3:49 pm
  • Reply JaxsonsMomJennie

    Thank you Dennis!

    August 11, 2018 at 3:49 pm
  • Reply JaxsonsMomJennie

    Thank you Christa! <3

    August 11, 2018 at 3:49 pm
  • Reply JaxsonsMomJennie

    Thank you Angela. It is definitely a struggle but if they're meant to be in your life they'll be there for you through thick and thin. <3

    August 11, 2018 at 3:50 pm
  • Reply JaxsonsMomJennie

    Thank you Jessica, I'll definitely let my husband you thanked him! <3

    August 11, 2018 at 3:51 pm
  • Reply JaxsonsMomJennie

    Thank you Yin! <3

    August 11, 2018 at 3:51 pm
  • Reply JaxsonsMomJennie

    Yes ma'am. Congratulations to him for starting! If you ever need any questions answered let me know! <3

    August 11, 2018 at 3:52 pm
  • Reply JaxsonsMomJennie

    Thank you Janine <3

    August 11, 2018 at 3:52 pm
  • Reply JaxsonsMomJennie

    Thank you Christina <3

    August 11, 2018 at 3:52 pm
  • Reply JaxsonsMomJennie

    Thank you Kristi! Thank you for taking the time to read my journey <3

    August 11, 2018 at 3:53 pm
  • Reply JaxsonsMomJennie

    Yesss!! We HAD TO! I remember flying out to the states to be picked up by his parents who I've never met before. It was so funny and awkward LOL. Things we do for our military men! <3

    August 11, 2018 at 3:54 pm
  • Reply JaxsonsMomJennie

    Thank you Emma. It's amazing what we are willing to do for our children! <3

    August 11, 2018 at 3:55 pm
  • Reply JaxsonsMomJennie

    Yes, thank you Stephanie. Having children can definitely make you grow up faster and teach you to be unselfish. <3

    August 11, 2018 at 3:55 pm
  • Reply No Compass Necessary

    I'm glad you shared this. Still adjusting to the friends coming and going as a military wife… It gets tough with all of the moves and transitioning.

    August 11, 2018 at 3:56 pm
  • Reply Chelf

    valuable lessons. Lesson I've learned as a spouse of someone who works at night in the food industry: Be adaptive as well. You have to be able to adjust to situations that other people dont even have to think about!

    August 11, 2018 at 3:56 pm
  • Reply Sundeep Bhatia

    I just stumbled upon this blog today and not regretting spending even a minute of my reading time.

    August 11, 2018 at 3:56 pm
  • Reply FaithHopeLove

    I have always thought military spouses were very strong and rock stars. Thank you for giving us a glimpse of what it is like to be a military spouse. Tell your husband thank you for his service to our country.

    August 11, 2018 at 3:56 pm
  • Reply Betzy Cuellar

    Without a doubt, to be a military wife one must learn to adapt to change. In my opinion, I have so much respect for those wifes because it is not an easy task.

    August 11, 2018 at 3:56 pm
  • Reply Maysz Adrias

    I'm 24 and still single honestly I don't know how to cook! but in this post! you show a lot of adjustment and improvement I know what feels like about Military Spouse Thanks for sharing!

    August 11, 2018 at 3:56 pm
  • Reply Echo A

    I am constantly in awe of our military and their spouses! It is amazing what you all overcome.

    August 11, 2018 at 8:00 pm
  • Reply Abigail Gillespie

    I have the greatest respect for Military families! I think these are wonderful lessons to learn in life no matter what! 🙂 Thank you for your family's service. 🙂

    August 11, 2018 at 9:07 pm
  • Reply Natalie Loves Beauty

    I like how being a military wife has taught you so much! I've been mowing the lawn for many years, I think I started when I was 14!

    August 11, 2018 at 10:31 pm
  • Reply The Super Mom Life

    First… thank you and your family for your service. I can't imagine being a military wife.

    August 12, 2018 at 2:48 am
  • Reply Hollie

    Thank for you for this! As a fellow military spouse it can be tough at times but I've always learned to be so much more unselfish and put others in front of me.

    August 12, 2018 at 2:33 pm
  • Reply Natalia

    Fair play to you. I don't think I could do it. Especially the moving part.

    August 12, 2018 at 2:33 pm
  • Reply Unknown

    Being a military spouse looks like studying in another province or loving away. we have to be unselfish and do everything ourselves. It is a memorable experience. Thanks for sharing ^^

    August 12, 2018 at 2:33 pm
  • Reply Shabby Chic Boho

    I think that military spouses are just as amazing as their husband or wife who serves. Because they serve as well only in different ways. I love the lessons that you've learned. I grew up in a military family so I know what it's like to make friends and then have to move on.

    August 12, 2018 at 2:34 pm
  • Reply JaxsonsMomJennie

    Thank you Maysz!

    August 12, 2018 at 4:15 pm
  • Reply JaxsonsMomJennie

    Thank you Betzy! <3

    August 12, 2018 at 4:15 pm
  • Reply JaxsonsMomJennie

    Thank you 🙂 I will let him know you thank him for his service <3

    August 12, 2018 at 4:15 pm
  • Reply JaxsonsMomJennie

    Thank you Sundeep 🙂

    August 12, 2018 at 4:16 pm
  • Reply JaxsonsMomJennie

    Yes, valuable lessons indeed! What type of cuisine does your husband cook? 🙂

    August 12, 2018 at 4:17 pm
  • Reply JaxsonsMomJennie

    Thank you <3 It is rough, if you need to talk I'm here!

    August 12, 2018 at 4:18 pm
  • Reply JaxsonsMomJennie

    Thank you Echo!

    August 12, 2018 at 4:19 pm
  • Reply JaxsonsMomJennie

    Thank you Natalia, it is hard but you start to get use to it!

    August 12, 2018 at 4:19 pm
  • Reply Dana Brillante-Peller

    Traveling often teaches you to appreciate the simple things, like friends. Although they come and go, it's the memories that last a lifetime.

    August 13, 2018 at 6:21 pm
  • Reply Anonymous

    Military spouses are sooo strong and brave. I can't even imagine. Love this perspective.

    August 14, 2018 at 7:27 pm
  • Reply Olga Zak

    These are some wonderful lessons to have learnt. Being a military spouse looks like studying in another province or loving away. Thanks for sharing this

    August 15, 2018 at 11:18 am
  • Leave a Reply

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