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Military Spouse

5 Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage

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As Military Parents to a Differently-Abled son, finding quality time together can often be difficult—non-existent. Despite our many separations, challenges, and hospitalizations—we make it work. I’m not saying it will be easy but if you love someone you will make it work. Marriage is like any relationship you have whether it is a friendship, work, and even your care team—it all takes work and communication to go forward.

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March 30, 2019

5 Lessons I Learned as a Military Spouse

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Being a military spouse isn’t for the faint of heart. I know what you’re thinking, “you signed up for that,” or “suck it up buttercup.” I’m not here to complain or gain sympathy from anyone. I just wanted to write about how much more stronger and independent I am being affiliated with the military.

1. I learned to be unselfish. 

Looking back I now admit that I wasn’t the most mature individual when we got married. I was 21 years old, couldn’t fry chicken cutlets, or didn’t know how to properly clean the house. You’re probably thinking how the hell did you get married? You’re not wifey material — lol. I was very selfish and wanted things to go my way. My poor husband would do sweet things for me and I would be a brat because he took too long to do something or didn’t get my way. I’m honestly surprised he stuck around (I love you)!

Over the years of our marriage, after several deployments, and unaccompanied orders, I’ve come to realize that you need to be unselfish. I’ve run around getting our PPM move ready, handled insurance problems, running the kids around to doctors appointments, sports, taking care of things at the bank, anything you name it. I’m honestly a hot mess right now with everything that is going on but I chose to be unselfish and help him. We are a team. He is currently out there training to become an even better Marine and stressed because he’s away from his family. I chose to be unselfish and get on my hands and knees to scrub the grout because it’ll help our move next month go that much faster. I’ve even mastered the lawn mower!

2. Adapt and overcome.

Yes, adapting and overcoming things I didn’t think I would ever do…. like mowing the lawn. I’ve never mowed the lawn, EVER. We were looking at paying someone to do it but honestly why not save money and just mow it myself? I plucked our little Jaxson, stuck him in my Ergobaby carrier and did the damn thing while my oldest ran around the garage like a crazy person. I think it took me a good 45 minutes to an hour the first time but now I’ve got it down to science. Should only take me 30 minutes to mow the lawn. I’ve even had a woman driving by call me a “Super-Star.”


3. Take charge. 

This is a trait that I learned the hard way. With the merge of Tricare South to Tricare East some things have gotten a little wonky with our insurance claims. I was being billed for services that we have a referral for AND we are Tricare Prime — which means no copays. I thought I had handled everything but I got slapped in the face with a bill that was close to going to collections — YIKES. I did everything right, I called and notified the hospitals that Tricare is backed up because of the merge and it could take 30 days to reprocess, had a conference call, etc. However I didn’t take the initiative and call to make sure that everything was still on hold until Tricare reprocessed everything. This taught me to TAKE CHARGE and make sure everything is taken care of! Follow up and don’t assume everything is all fine and dandy.

4. Friends come and go.


This one is tough. You travel all over the world, you get to see many countries and cultures that most people can only dream of. With that, you have to make new friends every 3 to 4 years, leave your family behind, and your home. Being a military family is rough. This is one thing my oldest son JJ had to learn, we’ve had two really good friends leave within the last couple years. It broke my heart to see him cry because I get it, I’ve been there. I grew up moving all the time too, always the new kid. Even now at 30 years old I make new friends or lose them. You do your best to keep in touch and it’s usually with the ones that you have a really great bond with. There are some that don’t write or text me anymore or forget my son’s birthday, but that’s okay. I’ve learned that friends come and go, it’s a part of life.

5. Be appreciative.

I really appreciate everything that my husband does for me and for our family. He works hard, kicks ass, every single day. It definitely shows! He’s currently finishing up training after being promoted to Warrant Officer. With that success also comes sacrifice. He’s had to miss many birthdays, anniversaries, Holidays, first steps, first words, etc. I really, REALLY appreciate how hard he works. Again that is why I want to be unselfish and help him as much as possible here at home base. Do whatever I can to make this PCS move go smoothly. He busts his butt to ensure that we have everything that we need. 

These are just a few lessons I have learned from being a military spouse and I’m sure there will be more. We’ve been together for almost 10 years and he always tells me the same thing, that he’s going to stay in the Marine Corps until he’s old and crusty.

Thank you for reading!

August 10, 2018

An Open Letter to My Oldest Son

 Dear JJ,

I’m sorry.
Mommy is sorry for all of the times I have lost my patience with you. I know you don’t understand now but I hope you understand when you get older..
You see, mommy loves you so much but she is overly stressed with taking care of your brother every minute of every day.
I know it doesn’t make it right, but it makes mommy human. 
I know you get jealous and I am trying to do my best to juggle my time with you and your brother. You may not understand his condition but Jaxson needs a lot of my attention right now.
I love our movie and ice cream dates.
I love our tickle fights.
I love how you say “Smash-potatoes”.
I love your creativity and imagination.
I love that even at almost five years old that you still love to give mommy kissies and cuddles.
I want you to know that I am so proud of the little man you have become. You are so smart and so sweet.
Love, Mom

July 12, 2018